thus sayeth the lord

i saw a link to a "christian news-source." they call us "pro-aborts." i'm not sure that even makes sense.

an apology to the people of iraq

how civil can a war be, anyway?  the iraqi people are finding out the hard way right about now that the answer is "not goddamned very."  and guess who's to blame?  that's right, it's us.  i'll personally shoulder my share of the responsibility.  when bush stole the white house in 2000, i didn't fight tooth and nail to stop the machinations of evil.  i mean, i railed against him, but i didn't do enough.  in 2002, when congress determined that the government can do pretty much whatever it wants to do, i didn't raise nearly enough hell.  oh, i'd like to think that i swayed the opinions of at least a very few people with my liberal rants, but we were all (myself included) still too stunned by september 11th to fight so hard, and the threat of more terrorist attacks seemed to dull the outrage at being scrutinized at every turn and all but stripsearched at every airport (for some reason, though i'm pretty pale with a whitebread last name, i used to be stopped at every "extra security" check in the airport.  i think they have a problem with goatees.).

when "operation iraqi freedom" began, i was incensed, but i didn't protest every day, or even most days.  i went to a few peace rallies, but, i didn't do enough.  i can see that now.  when that asshole gave his "mission accomplished" speech, i foamed at the mouth, but not in the right locale.  for the past two plus years, i have spoken out in conversations and in cyberspace about how evil and wrong this war is, but to no avail, because it wasn't enough.  at this point, i wonder if an armed insurrection would be enough.  sure, dubya's approval numbers are rapidly approaching single digits, but even with him out, that doesn't take care of the full problem.  there's still cheney, rove, rice, rumsfeld, gonzales, mcclellan, alito, frist, delay, boehner, blunt, hastert, bill o'reilly, chris matthews, sean hannity, ann coulter, rush limbaugh, and any number of other cockroaches ready to eat the bodies of their dead and take their place spewing invective and fooling the american people into thinking that xenophobia, homophobia, and a basic inherent all-pervading fear are patriotism.

 

i'm sorry, iraq.  i tried, but not hard enough.  please join me, as i'm sure you do every day, in a resounding fuck bush.

throw out the baby bell with the bathwater

i was compared to grizzly adams this morning for what i call my "devil-redneck" facial hair look and as yet unshorn locks.  in short, i have a lot of hair right now.  as perhaps i've blogged before, in lieu of a religion, i tend to make up superstitions, and then follow them until they bore me.  this time, shortly before siouxs! learned she was pregnant, i decided i wasn't going to cut my hair until we had a baby.  the extra facial hair is a recent addition that won't be summarily removed when the baby is born.  it will last until siouxs! can't stand the moustache anymore, and then perhaps another two days while i pretend "it's my face, and i'll do what i want."

 

south dakota, you bastards.  well, it's a fight now, isn't it?  seven out of nine justices on the supreme court vote republikkkan, but not every republican is a republikkkan, so i guess we'll see if any of them have the integrity to stand on the precedent rather than bow and scrape to the "conservative base" (after all, though it's a lifetime appointment for them, it's an election year for lots of their buddies...).

 

at&t was forced to split into many smaller companies, one of which (sbc, formerly southwestern bell) is all groweds-up and now is buying the old at&t remnant and name, making it as big as it was before.  who would have thought that an industry once chided for its monopoly might regain it under the bush "fuck the little guy" administration?  i smell bad things for the little guy.

 

fuck bush.

non-golden shower

welcome back from the weekend, ladies and gentlemen.  siouxs! had her family-thrown baby shower yesterday, and we got a shit-ton of baby stuff, including infant sized cardinals gear.

we're at t-minus one month (roughly).  i'm still scared to death, though i'm also thrilled at the idea. 

i have way too many cases to unload today, so i'm cutting this short.  i'll try to post again later today.

fuck bush.

outsourcing: thinking bigger

ok, look.  i have nothing against india at all.  i like them, in fact.  however, i don't like the fact that they pursued and acquired nuclear weapons despite the world-wide non-proliferation treaty (i have the same beef with israel).  what i do want to know is what changed in our relations with india on this presidential visit.  let's see, they agreed to accept help with their non-military atomic energy programs, to change nothing at all about their nuclear weapons programs, and what else, exactly?

dubya also talked about india's role as a trade partner with the u.s., saying that some americans focus only on outsourcing.  my question to him isn't why are american companies (owned by billionaires) doing so much outsourcing, but rather, why aren't we doing more?  sure, tech support and manufacturing, those are the obvious jobs to send away, but what about upper management?  the average ceo in the states makes hundreds of times what the average employee makes... if we outsourced that job too, that could be merely a few grand!  think of the savings!

outsource our whole freakin' economy while you're at it.  eventually, you rich bastards will require enough servants to employ all of us who aren't in jail, right?

take me online to the ballgame

though it isn't regular season, baseball starts in twenty minutes.  today's first spring training game is against the mets, and i won't be able to do more than watch the score change online, because i'm not paying for a full season to hear one broadcast.  it's on xm, but i like my radio local.

 

so now there's video about the katrina response, and what do you want to bet the white house is going to spin bush's silence as something along the lines of "well, he wasn't actively causing problems to arise."

 

short post today.  i need to get ready for baseball.

 

fuck bush

rash wednesday

there are no catholics in my office, which is good, not because i don't like catholics, but because today is the day when i accidentally tell one of them "you've got some shit on your forehead" every year without fail. 

went to the downtown mardi gras parade last night, and was as usual disappointed in the float quality level, but had a good time nonetheless.  amazingly enough, i did not drink, though not from lack of desire.  it seems that the actual fat tuesday parade in the stl is the "family" version, with far less beer and boobs to enliven the festivities.  the kids are cute, but it's still just a six block parade.

i have and will always continue to be a skeptic about st louis's mardi gras.  since nawlins is something of an adopted home for me, i can't get over how uptight my current city of residence gets about everything.  the cops turn to complete dicks (not that there's that far for them to go), and the local businesses act as though the floods of fools are a burden rather than a revenue increase.  at least they lowered the fines for public urination this year...

 

why i can never run for public office (part one)

conservative opponent: the american people think that baby killing is wrong.

gthedamned for congress: duly noted, but what's their policy on me tearing your head off with my bare hands, drink the blood mixed with overproof rum from your head, and then vomit on your remains?  and a followup question, how's this evening look for you?

 

i just get too passionate about political things, but sometimes i really think i should run for something.  mind, i don't even know where i'd start.  my thought is, though, i'll lay my shit out there before they try to dig up too much dirt on me.  i drink.  i used to do drugs.  i'm something of a radical.  here's what i stand for, and if you don't like it, we can talk about it, but i may start screaming at you.  a kinder, gentler gthedamned, who looks to the future and hopes it doesn't have a bunch of neo-con assholes, otherwise, lock and load, it's revolution time.

laissez les bons temps goulet

translation: let the good times [robert] goulet

 

happy mardi gras.  we'll be attending the parade tonight, as it's going to be seventy fucking degrees in february, because there is no such thing as global warming.  (by the way, i do understand that global warming has nothing to do with individual day/location temperatures, but the average person doesn't, so i'll keep to the populist spirit with which this blog was founded.)

 

give me the motherfucking gun, trey.  or failing that, another phone call attempt.  just not tonight, because...

 

happy birthday, mom, who hopefully doesn't read this foul-mouthed blog

 

actually, it's not her real birthday, as she was born on leap year day, but, try not calling her this time of year for three years out of four, and see how she likes it (answer: not at all).

 

34% approval rating for baby dub, 18% for Darth Cheney... lets get those impeachment wheels a'turnin'!  can't anyone make a good effigy these days?  excuse me, a good american made effigy.  they're pretty good at it in all those countries that "hate freedom." 

 

speaking of hating freedom, when's the last time anyone heard anything about osama bin laden, huh?  i get the feeling we're going to see him on a vh1 "where are they now?" special before this administration gets around to catching that bastard.  i think they're using him as a potential political chip.  they have him located (within a four inch margin of error), and are going to break him out in 2008, right about the time the supreme court determines that the two term limit on the presidency is unconstitutional.

 

strike while the iron has low approval ratings, people!

fuck that remaining 34%/18%.

welcome to the lou, hurricane girl

skip and krobar, happy housewarming.  get back onto a normal sleep schedule before mardi gras.

on the topic of mardi gras, this year was the first in several that we didn't attend the festivities in soulard, and i really can't say i was disappointed.  while i do usually have fun when we go to "the country's second largest mardi gras celebration," i'm fairly certain that i would have a good time being drunk before noon any time of year, not just in the pre-lenten season.  i've been to nawlins' too many times to be all that impressed with soulard.  no offense, but midwesterners will never be able to throw that kind of bash, even if our cops weren't such tightasses about the whole thing.

i haven't posted anything about baseball yet, largely because it's not that kind of weblog, but for a little change of pace, here we go.  i am really looking forward to this year's baseball season.  my cardinals have been through a lot of turmoil through the offseason, but i feel the makings of a great year.  in fact, i see a good baseball year in general, for a lot of teams (and i see a few of them crashing and burning, like the overspending blue jays and the underspending marlins).  i am something of a recent convert to the redbird nation, having only paid them close attention for about three years, but baseball has long been my favorite sport to watch.  that said, i really didn't watch anything but the world series for several years.  that has changed, and now i watch as much baseball as i can without breaking down and getting cable (still holding strong ten years in!) and listen to the radio for those games i can't see.

go cards

fuck bush

a non-believer's prayer

still no word from those bastards on the supreme court (which is better than a regular court, because it's got pepperoni, sausage, green peppers, and mushrooms).

 

dear god i have trouble believing in, please give me the strength to push through these turbulent times we're living in.  if the rest of the country, nay, world is patient enough, those warmongering neo-cons are going to self destruct very soon.  i know it won't take away all of the problems that they will leave behind, but at least there's some chance they won't add to them too much.

in your infinite (and dubious to me personally) wisdom, i know you will be able to help the people of iraq out of a near certain civil war.  i know that you will watch over us (as much as a probably fictional entity can) to protect us from evildoers trying to ship weapons through our frighteningly under-prepared ports.  and someday, with your help and (purely hypothetical) guidance, we may see the light at the end of the tunnel.  my (doubting) prayer is that some time in the relatively near future, we can go back to arguing about big government vs little government or other saner (and safer) things to worry about, as opposed to arguing about whether gays should count as three-fifths of a person, and other such religion-beating folderol that does an excellent job of keeping the poor looking the other way while the rich fuck them (sorry about the language, but i assume you have bigger things to worry about).

and if it's not too much to ask, coming from a pretty serious agnostic, could you make sure siouxs! and bootsy are healthy while we're in the home stretch here?  i might just change my tune on the whole "is there a you" question once bootsy is born and we need some help.

thanks for reading my blog, and i guess the reason you don't show up on my statcounter is that you're bigger than the internet.

fuck bush.

amen

abort the red states

i've determined why it's hard to be a liberal from a conservative region.  i have all of these feelings of social responsibility, yet none of the abhorrence of violence that we left wingers are supposed to have.  while i myself am not that violent a person, i'd love to see the bush administration lawyer i heard on the radio this morning (dancing around the point that the executive branch could make any decision it wanted to in "wartime") have his throat ripped out by wild dogs.  or me.  whichever.

 

and south dakota, lovely state that it is, is doing everything it can to bring us back to the seventies.  while disco and godawful clothing might still be the rage up there, what they've really done is outlaw abortion, forcing the newly minted neocon supreme court to make a ruling on the laws constituionality.  can't we just give both of the dakotas to canada?  we'll give puerto rico and d.c. statehood, just to stay at an even fifty.

 

i would be all for this plan, but there are way too many states i would want to get rid of.  hell, i live in one of them.

 

for the record, i'm done with stupid baby class.  there's twelve plus hours i'll never get back, but at least it's over.

 

fuck south dakota.

just one more push

you know those "bulldozer" machines they have at some arcades?  they've got an ostensibly flat tray with a big pile of quarters being pushed toward the edge.  you drop your own quarter in at what you think is an appropriate time, and hopefully, some quarters drop and you get either a bunch of quarters (if it's cool) or a bunch of tickets (if it's lame).

that's what the neocons' situation feels like to me right now.  if we can just drop the right thing into the right place, it all comes tumbling down.  the fallout would be enormous, and those who've put themselves most on the line (ie bush, cheney, rove, rumsfeld, rice, mcclellan, etc.) will fall the hardest.

i got an urge this morning to run for some office on the "full disclosure" ticket.  i could be relatively immune to scandals if i air my own dirty laundry first, then point out that theirs' is still worse...

 

fuck bush, cheney, rove, rumsfeld, rice, mcclellan, etc.

another cry for sanity

can someone please explain to me why we've been holding afghan "suspected terrorists" in guantanamo for years now (who are in reality probably only people who pissed off their neighbors) and torturing them, but now we're letting the united arab emirates, a country with more easily defined ties to terrorism, run our ports?  i mean, i guess we were only checking about one out of one hundred containers that came into the country anyway, so let's just let the u.a.e. and their billions in oil money jump right in there.

here's a thought... why don't we put iraq in charge of the ports?  i mean, the current iraqi administration is pretty friendly to us on the whole (wink, wink), and i bet we could weed out the insurgents with a careful applicant screening process (question 1: how many i.e.d.'s have you made in the last three years?).  it might also help them make some money to get out of the staggering debt they're in.

i've got another idea.  let's put the saudis in charge of our airlines!  17 of 19 hijackers agree that saudi extremists keep their heads under pressure better than other fundamentalists.

what about yemen for our merchant marines?

north korea for our border patrol?

 

outsourcing... the (oppressor's) wave of the future.

 

fuck bush.

 

let it all hang over and out

i woke up this morning still drunk.  this has got to stop happening.  my liver took the night off again, as it seems to do pretty frequently when i get into the rum.  i really, really like rum, but i'm afraid last night represented a kind of last hurrah for a while.  i don't want to get out of drinking shape, and it's not like i'm quitting, i just need to keep it within certain limits for a while, like for example sticking to beer.  rum is real good, though.

on a lighter note, i threatened to commit double homicide this morning because my two co-workers kept taunting me with thoughts of bacon.  i finally got to fill this hangover stomach, and i'm feeling better, but not great.

fuck bush.

geekdom complete?

siouxs! has pointed out to me that i'm gettign older, a fact of which i was delightfully unaware for far too long.  my hearing has been less than great for most of my life, and i'm too afraid to get a hearing aid and hear the loud ass world i've been missing.  i long ago resolved to be damned near deaf before i'd get a hearing aid.  i mean, my grandfather was always such a source of family comedy, how could i deprive my children and grandchildren of so much entertainment.

no, siouxs! is half deaf too.  it wasn't that.  we'll just continue to turn our movies up loud as hell and disturbing the neighbors.

what she pointed out to me was the i might need to have my eyes checked. 

i can't remember the first time she said as much, but it was only a few weeks ago.  the second time was more emphatic, and i can remember it a lot better.  last week at stupid baby class, i couldn't read something on the teacher's big flip pad.  in my defense, it was written in red marker, but she could read it just fine, so i conceded that i may at least need to go see what the professionals have to say.

now, don't think i have a problem with wearing glasses (and not contacts, unless i have to for an acting role i'm too lazy to audition for).  as a matter of fact, i wore glasses (with clear lenses) for a while because i thought they made me look smarter (jackass vanity, i know).  i just have a problem with needing glasses.  i would feel dependant on something.  anything.  i hate feeling dependant on anyone or anything, and have since i was a teenager.  wearing glasses to me is like constantly having to borrow money from my mom.  neither one is desireable.

whatever, i haven't even made the appointment yet.  i'll hold out while i can...

fuck bush.

a cool 40

i just chatted with my sister-in-law in boston while she was on break.  don't worry, i've already made fun of her for chatting with me on break when there should be any number of more interesting things to do.  she asked if i thought she should be drinking a 40 oz in the parking lot, which brought to mind one of my least favorite things about the stl: no forties.  for some inane reason (i.e. serious ignorance/racism running to the core), it is illegal to sell 40 oz. bottles of malt beverage in st. louis city or county.  when i need some mickey's or o.e. 800, i have to drive to illinois.  how am i supposed to get my buzz jump started without forty ounces of sweet, sweet malt liquor?  moreover, when i go to the doctor, i want to truthfully be able to say i usually have three or four drinks a night. 

 

fuck bush, but fuck francis slay, mayor of st. louis as well.

christmas in february

while i was home yesterday for the plumber and furnace guy, the mail came.  it included a present for siouxs! and bootsy, my modern drunkard magazine, and baseball tickets.  this means yesterday was the best the postal service has ever been to me in one day.

and on another uplifting note, the house should be back to a normal temperature by the time i get home today.  though we had a few fairly amusing moments with the space heaters and the circuit breakers, i prefer a more uniform warmth.

***************************************************

the asterisks represent my trip with the warehouse manager to an account, where he took our delivery van from our backup driver.  it seems his child has a fever, so he needed to get here to the hospital.  not that i'm doubting, but it does largely suck from everyone else's perspective.

 

fuck bush.

 

 

cheney shoots a guy directly, instead of sending in the armed forces

this is becoming laughable.

dubya is being raked over the coals by both sides of the pass the buck katrina debacle, and neither of his two appointees, brown or chertoff, is looking better for it either.

those abramhoff pictures are a real hoot, george.  way to convince people you don't know the guy at all.

demokkkrats and republikkkans alike are still asking questions about the domestic spying thing, and no one (including the public, who are sadly already bored with it) is satisfied with the "it's legal because we say it's legal" defense anymore.

dick "vader" cheney (thanks to liberal bloggers everywhere for that gem) told scooter to break the law and threaten national security by leaking about valerie.

and now he fucking shoots a guy.  this is great.  if we can't do something about these bozos now, we truly are too apathetic to deserve liberty.

 

on a more personal note, my pilot light is out on the furnace at the house, so it's cold as balls there.  the dogs will be fine, but it really needs to get fixed today.  my wife and fetus were freezing last night.

 

fuck bush, laclede gas, and my postman, who still hasn't brought my modern drunkard magazine. 

the return of sly

ok, i watched a few minutes of the grammys last night.  i had heard a rumor that sly stone was going to perform for the first time in years.  indeed, he did (for those who didn't see it), and it was amazing to see.  he was only on stage for a minute or two, though, and i for one, think it might have had something to do with the various jackasses butchering his music up until that point.  the man is a legend, and you put a bullshit american idol winner up there to do his music?  what was up with the black eyed peas frontman freestyling?  that was supposed to be a tribute, you shit.  the least he could've done was rhyme about sly stone.  anyway, i hope that isn't the last time we hear from sly.  seeing him on stage was spectacular.

 

tom delay has a new job on the appropriations committee.  great place for a guy with ethical deficiencies.  way to go, congress.

 

fuck bush.  and joe perry.

stupid baby class

we're in the home stretch regarding childbirth class (not exactly lamaze, but a close facsimile).  two more long fucking classes with sandra who i'm nt exactly fond of, but does at least provide a little unwitting comedy for us every class.  this week it was "booty-pressure," quickly translated to "butt pressure" for those of us who had never heard the term booty referring to anythining but pirate treasure before (ok, perhaps tetsuya and kaoru never had, but i can't be sure how much of the non-idiom english they're actually getting... thank god they have that pocket translator).  there was also the classic "ok, dads, you can be either in front of her or behind her for this one.  i prefer... either one."  it's good she specified, as i intended to try something wholly different, perhaps laying right on siouxs! and the baby-belly.

 

bootsy is laying sideways we think.  there's still plenty of time for turnin', but we're hoping sooner rather than later to lessen the number of things to worry about.  sandra says we can chase "him" around with frozen vegetables, but why set up pickiness so early in (pre-)life?

 

pitchers and catchers start spring training next friday.  i'm too excited for baseball again to even explain about it.

 

i know i've said it before, and then it didn't amount to much, but the republikkkans seem to be on the ropes, awaiting the knockout blow from whatever progressive willing to deliver it.  get in there, demokkkrats!  when you become the new conservative party, real liberals will stand a chance of forming a more effective party in your wake.

 

fuck alberto gonzales.