for no good reason, i am feeling a touch depressed. work is good, i'm about to be a father for the third time, and we are loving our new house, but tonight, i can't shake a bit of blues. i suppose these things are chemical as much as anything else, and it's true the the main chemical i add to my bloodstream is a depressant, but it matters not a bit to the general feeling. why i'm burdening the blogosphere with this, i'm not sure, except that i have a need to write a little, and this seems the most likely way to do it tonight.

siouxs! said she wonders if our son is depressed, and i think that may have to do with this. i think he stands a good chance of getting the depression gene, seeing as how it runs rampant in both of his parents' families. i don't personally remember if i was depressed at three, but the odds are for it. i was seeing a child psychologist not long after that point for just such a reason. thinking that my boy might be in for an emotional life such as i have led is hard for me to take. i would do anything to keep him from the deep dark voids that i went through, but at the same time, they made me who i have become. is depression that's coped with a strengthening factor? is it a function of being intelligent but not sociopathic? when i look at my daughter, equally amazing, but very happy most of the time, i wonder if jack was like that when he was her age (though it was only a year and a half ago, and i should remember), and therefore, does she have a similar personality trait to look forward to?

sorry. drag. i'll do better next time.

dust off the old blog. reoil it for the new season. stretch legs and work out the old finger speed, as it were.

child number three imminent. house bought. job good.

drinking often.

liberal, but quietly.

ok. good first day back.