for no good reason, i am feeling a touch depressed. work is good, i'm about to be a father for the third time, and we are loving our new house, but tonight, i can't shake a bit of blues. i suppose these things are chemical as much as anything else, and it's true the the main chemical i add to my bloodstream is a depressant, but it matters not a bit to the general feeling. why i'm burdening the blogosphere with this, i'm not sure, except that i have a need to write a little, and this seems the most likely way to do it tonight.

siouxs! said she wonders if our son is depressed, and i think that may have to do with this. i think he stands a good chance of getting the depression gene, seeing as how it runs rampant in both of his parents' families. i don't personally remember if i was depressed at three, but the odds are for it. i was seeing a child psychologist not long after that point for just such a reason. thinking that my boy might be in for an emotional life such as i have led is hard for me to take. i would do anything to keep him from the deep dark voids that i went through, but at the same time, they made me who i have become. is depression that's coped with a strengthening factor? is it a function of being intelligent but not sociopathic? when i look at my daughter, equally amazing, but very happy most of the time, i wonder if jack was like that when he was her age (though it was only a year and a half ago, and i should remember), and therefore, does she have a similar personality trait to look forward to?

sorry. drag. i'll do better next time.