at the drive in

non politics for a moment.

siouxs! and i recently purchased poison's greatest hits (which only has five great songs on it, but we're still not used to the whole i-tunes etc. thing).  needless to say, i have now listened to the song "talk dirty to me" more times in the last month than i did when it was on the radio, and in this time i have made a few observations.

just before the instrumental break, singer brett michaels urges guitarist cc deville (best porn afficionado/guitarist name ever) to "pick up that guitar and talk to me."  however, since it is in the middle of a rock song, one would assume that cc already had picked up that guitar, perhaps as much as a few minutes before.  i suppose it is also possible that he had briefly put down that guitar.  secondly, in a song called "talk dirty to me," one would think that a band trying to look as manly as possible would not ask one another to talk (dirty, we can only presume) to them.  admittedly, most hard rock/metal bands of the day were not the most masculine of folks, but they were mostly so vehement in their homophobia (see: rob halford), that such an exhortation in some bands would instigate a fistfight.  i don't know.  perhaps the guys in poison were cooler about such things (see: randy rhodes).

my last issue is with the guitar solo itself.  while any instrumental break can be metaphorically taken as "talk[ing] to me" (with the posible exception of certain bass lines, which are more appropriately "walking to me"), talking dirty is another matter.  the guitar solo in "talk dirty to me" is, at best, "talk [reassuringly] to me."  the closest thing to talking dirty is the little riff at the end, which could feasibly translate to "i'll let you see me naked, maybe."  cc deville should have taken a lesson from (perish the thought) joe perry of aerosmith, whose riff describing "just a little kiss, like this" in "walk this way" accurately describes a girl putting her whole tongue in your ear (you decide if that's pleasant, but it's definitely dirty).  for that matter, cc himself has done better in other songs (see: "unskinny bop").

so really, all i'm saying is this: "talk dirty to me" is a rock song about underaged sex.  it is not a ballad (see: "night moves", bob segar), and the solo should reflect as much.  cc, pick up that guitar and write me a new solo.