i have been shut of cigarettes for over two weeks now... just so you know.

those god-fearing-god-damned republikkkans are really doing their damnedest to piss me off. voluntary ignorance is right up there on my list of ways to kill any respect i might have. rudy giuliani, mayoral hero of the new republikan moderate movement, has, in one speech, gone from being reasonably respectable to the same sort of lying scum that i had rather hoped he was better than. the quote from his speech at the republiklan rally last night in particular that stuck in my craw was the one that said that our president can see past today, and tomorrow, and into the future. this about a man who had enough foresight to start a war without an exit strategy, and the final determination to say a year and a half ago "mission accomplished" (meanwhile how many have died since then?). if george w. bush has a vision of the future, then he has no vision of either the present or the past. i'm not saying that john kerry is the best choice for our country, but if we let this moronic visionary have another four years, there is no telling how much trouble we'll get ourselves into. you and i are a part of w's vision of the future. we are the help.

sorry to get so political, but it's been quite a while since the blog had this kind of slant, so it just kind of poured out.

just blogging to say welcome back allison and yes, you should sleep with the howler monkey. since the two of you are probably half of my readers, i will say no more...

the management and staff at geronimothedamned would like to thank both of our readers for letting us know that they still care enough to devote several seconds of their time to the cause. from all of us (inside this head) to all of you (outside this head), thank you. it's good to feel loved.

on a different note, tomatohead, aka jordan, is nearing the end of his long journey. here's hoping that seattle is good to him.
in related news, who's to say what's up with the bastards karamazov. initial recordings have been laid down, all that remains are a few more songs and some post production. look for the bastards cd before the end of the year.

business, business, business. hate to say so, but i have to go to work.

i knew it.  nobody cares about poor little g.   (sniffle)  i guess i'll just have to go kill myself or something...

(the above message was intended for ironic purposes only.  had this been real self pity, you can bet your ass it would not appear on this website.  self pity made public is whining, and whining may well require capital punishment when my reign of terror begins.)

the show was a success.  we will try to perform it, in slightly modified form, at another date to be announced.  also, coming soon, bastardskaramazov.com for all of your excited interest and interested excitement.
 
just to fulfill my curiosity, could anyone who actually reads this drivel post a comment?  i know it's a lot to ask, but i would like to know if i am the only one who actually reads this blog.

four days until the comedy event of the summer... the bastards karamazov present a smutcar named deflower at the way out club, tuesday, july sixth. doors at 8:30, show at 9:30.
my anniversary is also this weekend (well, this long weekend). it's hard to believe that siouxs! and i have been married a year already. actually, it's mostly hard to believe that she has put up with my ass for a year of wholly matrimony. to that end, if anyone should see my beautiful bride (or call or e-mail her), congratulate her on her infinite patience. (not to get lost in sentimentality, but) i love you, suzi.

in this time of tumultuous change, there are still a few things that you can count on. one of those things is that the bastards karamazov will have another show. though it is as yet unnamed, the bastards will be performing tuesday, july 6th, at the home of bastard comedy, the way out club, at 9:30 pm. the cover is still only five dollars. five dollars. think of it this way. we're saving you from going to jack'n the box and pushing yourself one step closer to cardiac arrest. we're keeping you off those dirty cigarettes. all proceeds go toward buying the bastards smokes.

ok, honestly, i'm not sure if i have anything to say in this post, but i'll try for the sake of beating my month habit...
the family was in town this past weekend. it was a pretty good time, i must say. we took them to the zoo (however briefly... it was hot out there), the city museum (for the stl uninformed... please visit the city museum sometime, and not just the bar, though that is pretty damned rockin' as well) and dave and busters, where i proceeded to get the whole family hooked on running the ponies (derby owners club... a good way to blow fifty bucks). all and all, it was a good weekend, but i'm still trying to get my brain back up to normal function, and i'm still trying to erase the southern accent that my mom is always kind enough to lend to me when i see her from my speech. seriously, i had less of an accent when i was a kid than i do now.
haven is still the cutest kid in the whole damned world, but is proving to be smart as well. he knew, without being able to read or count (he's two) which was their hotel room from a line of identical doors. he also figured out how to unlock said door from the inside by watching someone else do it once. the kid's a friggin' genius. and so fucking cute it makes you just want to gather bunnies and ducklings, then throw them at other kids.
it's nearly thirty minutes until i have to start work. i should get some work done...

whoa! blogger, what hast thou wrought?! can't say i was ready for a change (which in reality probably took place weeks ago) to the blogging system i know and love. it's thrown me so far off, i almost forgot what i was going to write about. first of all, alissa (see link to the side, but really, if you've ever read my blog, you probably know alissa) was in town last weekend, and st. louis was temporarily a better place. second of all, alissa, you can buy me drinks all you want, but if you dare say it's a repayment for your part of the bar tab at the karaoke bar, i will have to mock you. hard. (seriously, until my fourth aa meeting, i will buy you drinks without a second thought, at least until the bar tab gets into the triple digits).
ok, now the real reason i got on blogspot... i wish i could give you a date, but the new bastards karamazov show is going to be freaking awesome. avante garde, cutting edge comedy that isn't afraid to say what it means, or hit on your mom after a few pitchers of boilermakers. look for us to announce multiple dates at multiple locations. if you or anyone you know owns a bar with a sound system and a stage, let us know. if you or anyone you know likes to get drunk with funny people, let us know that too.

clocking in at just over a month it's...... geronimo! that's right folks. i haven't forgotten either one of you. it's just that i've been so busy lately, what with the kidnapping and all. i mean, like it or not, you gotta feed those hostages every day!
to be honest, i really am only writing this so that i can not write again for another month. i'm not really a diary type person, and i'd usually rather get a laugh in person than hear someone tell me they thought the blog was funny. i wish i could promise more posts, more regularly, but i know that i wouldn't keep that promise. instead, i'll make a promise i know i can keep. (ah-hem) from this point on, i promise that each and every gthedamned post will contain at least one (1) multisylabic word. gthedamened is not responsible for misspellings. for that i would blame the drugs.
until next month, or something pisses me off real good...

the day of a show may cause
-fluttering stomach
-incurable lust for nicotine
-desire to be anywhere but work
-lack of focus
-need to last minute prop shop

needless to say, i am a victim of the above ailment. the show is going to kick ass, but until i hear a good laugh from the audience, i get a shit load of this. if you haven't made plans, you have now. if you have, break them, or better yet, relocate them. nothing makes a romantic moment more special than three overeducated and undercivilized gentlemen of the world poking fun at human foibles and genitalia. come one, come all, bring the kids (just not inside, please). bring grandma. she'll piss herself, and if she can hear well enough, she might just enjoy the show, too!

the kc was a rockin good time, as it turns out. i got to see several old friends, including kingston, the new topographer, and insomnia. to at least the first two listed above, it was spectacularrrr to see you again. (and new t. -- you should steal your dad's car. it looks great on you!)
i really think i should have majored in piracy.
now i have two weeks as acting office manager, since the real one is in new zealand. should prove to be fun, if i can hold my sanity intact.

come see the bastards karamazov one week from tonight at the way out club, 9:30 until they kick us the fuck out.

the bastards karamazov will be performing their first ever live solo show, march 9th at (where else) the way out club on the corner of jefferson and gravois, starts sometime after nine. for details call 781-2464

whoo hoo, i get to go to kansas city. party-time.

let's talk about salt, people. not table salt; that will have to be another rant for another time. no, i mean that modern marvel, road salt. first of all, when the sign on the back of the truck says stay back fifty feet, do. it's not only hell on a paint job, but will also whitewash a windshield like that was the purpose.
it's the driveways that i need to comment on, though. when you lay down salt on the driveway, it usually turns out to be a good thing for everything but the grass on either side. however, let me implore you to stop at a certain point! once you get to the point that you are slipping on the salt as badly (or worse, since it isn't expected) as you would the ice, it has gone too far. think before you salt. a message from the national you fucking moron council.

(two non-political posts in a row. can he go for the record?)

first there was ice, falling from the sky overnight
then there was snow all morning, to insulate the ice
then there was lasagne
then there was sleep
then there was an anxious radio listener, hopefully listening to school closings
then there was a disappointed radio listener
then there was no school anyway
but there was still work.
drunks don't take snow days.
now there's going to be more snow, and they don't plow our new neighborhood with any more regularity than they did the old one. does it get any better than this?

hateful demokkkrats are going to cost us four more years of that joker. if there can't be at least one unified front by the other evil corrupt political party, we might even see an abolition of term limits in the next four years. then we're really fucked, aren't we?

Let's go to the moon again, folks. think of how great that will be. we could live there, even if there is no life on the moon as yet. we could use the moon as a cheaper way to get to mars, what with the lessened gravity and all, even though there is no rocket fuel on the moon. and once we get to mars, why don't we just take that short little hop to heaven? we could thank jesus in person for all the help he's given us, in stealing elections, in bringing a highly technological war to an already downtrodden people, and in driving on a emotion centered populace over a cliff that they could see if only they would look with rational eyes.

that said, come see our show on monday. it's going to be the best one yet.

the bastards karamazov will be performing once again at reverend brim stone's lunar menagerie, this monday, jauary 19th at the way-out club, corner of jefferson and gravois.

i am way too sleepy to be at work, even though my caffeine is finally starting to kick in.

well, i've beat the month. now that it is blessed january, and i have nothing more than a lot of paperwork to do, i hope that i'll have time to update the world (at least the billionth of a percent that read this blog) on my day to day goings on. actually, strike that. i shouldn't bore the few people good enough to pay attention to my ravings... gotta work. more later

good god this is going to be a long day. my back hurt when i got up this morning, and over the course of today, i have to deal with 1800 cases of wine. i hope we get good temps. i also hope that plenty of people come to the third rev. brim stone's lunar menagerie, monday, dec 15, at the way out club (corner of jefferson and gravois). finally, i hope that you all have a good day, right up till let's say three fourteen. from there on out, you're on your damn own.