thank you, oh wise and fearless leader, for showing us the light. all of the violence in iraq is someone else's fault. thanks be to our almighty christian god that it isn't our fault, even though we did force iraq into a state of anarchy and chaos that would make any society come apart.

someone else's fault. the most beautiful three words in the world to a politician. someone else's fault means a chance at (re)election. and the best part is that it's bipartisan! double points if the people you're pinning the blame on are brown.

the economy, that's someone else's fault too, right? they say it usually takes a few years for changes in economic policy to make a significant change in the economy itself, so the current problems are the fault of those jokers from last term. you remember those guys, they're the ones who tied up hundreds of billions of dollars in a war based on false pretenses, and then funded it by cutting the taxes of the wealthy at a much higher rate than the middle class so that the poor and middle class could keep sending their sons and daughters to die needlessly and expensively.

fuck bush, just for old times sake.

one thing of interest: on the way out of knox vegas this past weekend, i saw a billboard for a place called the pleasure palace or somesuch nonsense with pleasure in there. at the bottom they listed attractions

toys * lingerie * adult novelties * fireworks

it says something about a region's culture when the smell of gunpowder can be a turn-on.

more updates as soon as i feel like it.

tomorrow is my favorite holliday behind halloween, so i thought i would mention a few things worth being thankful for (though to whom, i don't know, as i'm at best an agnostic, but whatever)

jack and siouxs! make my every day better. no matter how bad a day at work is, i get to come home and be happy right away when i see those two smiling at me, and every morning, i get to see them first so my day can start right.

the rest of my family, of course, who love us enough to be thrilled that we're coming home for thanksgiving.

i still have a few really good friends who i can always count on (and you know who you are)

despite the tightened belts that go along with siouxs! going to part time and the extra expense of a baby, we're still doing better than back when we first got together.

both cars are running well (knock on wood)

the republikkkans lost a lot of ground

the cardinals won a world series

i've been published twice in the last year

no one close to me has died this year

there's lots more than that, but that'll do for now. we're driving overnight in an effort to keep jack asleep for the trip, as he still isn't too fond of long car trips. here's hoping for an uneventful drive and a good morning once we get there and try to grab a few hours sleep before what will undoubtably be a thanksgiving feast (my grandmother is still cooking for people who won't be there for one reason or another, and even when there were a lot more of us, there were always piles of leftovers).

enjoy your holiday, and be thankful for what you otherwise take for granted.

oh yeah, and friday is buy nothing day. please celebrate and remind the corporations that we are people, not consumers

despite what might be the obvious conclusion based on this picture, i promise that we have never given this child alcohol or drugs. all i can say is that it runs in the family. my mother seems to have an uncanny ability to appear inebriated in pictures where she is no such thing (not that she doesn't drink, but i can count on my fingers the number of times i've seen her drunk, and as far as you know, i only have two fingers). i suppose there is the possibility that she's just a remarkably good drunk who indulges a lot more than it would otherwise seem, but since the same trait has appeared in her grandson, i'm guessing it's just genetic dumb luck. in jack's case, i know for a fact that he can't reach the liquor, and i wouldn't give him any for fear that he is blessed/cursed with my high tolerance, and he'd drink me out of house and home once he acquired a taste for the stuff. again, if such things are genetic, i don't think it will take too long after the first exposure.

...you succeed, but then in all subsequent attempts, fail, try another outlet.

after my first mcsweeney's submission, i have gone something like 0-for-20. however, i was asked for submissions to another site, feathertale, on the strength of my mcsweeney's piece. again, they took the first thing i offered, so i of course expect to never get anything on the site again.

so that you, my gthedamned readers can feel special, a little inside info. the piece was inspired by the question "do you have your baby gate bought?" which i then went riffing away on.

publish or perish (or continue to languish on in obscurity).

tell me i'm celebrating too early if you must, but oh hellmotherfuckinyeah! the hole they dug was too deep to climb out of with political trickery, and when you have no moral ground to stand on, it's pretty hard to effectivley attack your opponent's "values."

here in the mighty mo, claire mccaskill won our senate seat (now's the time to start working against kit bond), the minimum wage was increased, and the jury is still out on the stem cell initiative. i'm obviously hoping that one passes too, but i am pretty thrilled at the gains already determined.

this is a start.

i had a thought last night. the struggle between liberalism and conservativism ought to be a matter of idealism versus wisdom. if that were true, then the middle ground would be the correct path nearly every time. as it is, both "sides" are led by people who care more for getting and maintaining power than ruling effectively. i suppose in a way this is one of the basic flaws with democracy, but such is life. now is not the time to worry too much about democracy's flaws. today is a day of celebration, for tomorrow we get to work.

for the record, i am not a democrat (or demokkkrat, since they're only marginally better than republikkkans in many respects). i am a left leaning independent however, today, i cast an all democrat ballot (except for judges, who have no party affiliation listing, because obviously, they're non partisan, right?).

take the fuckers out. enough republikkkan befouling has gone down in the last few weeks to make me think the democrats have finally learned to play politics too. good. it's about time someone beat those sons of bitches at their own game.

if you haven't voted yet, go vote. the touchscreens are a little unnerving, but i saw the paper back up.

vote. i'll be disappointed if anyone reading this blog doesn't. i'll also be surprised if i get even one more hit today (thanks, statcounter, for pointing out that i'm just another angry blogger with a readership marginally above zero).

vote.

VOTE DRUNK
VOTE OFTEN
VOTE DRUNK OFTEN