i really hate this fucking holiday, so i'll make this brief. i wish all of my friends a joyous day off, festival of lights (i know it's over, but when have i ever been on time for that sort of thing?) or whatever you may choose to call it for yourselves. for a set of holidays based on the idea that drinking is good when it's cold outside, this has really become a juggernaut of capitalism. so screw that. (if you are reading this blog, most likely) i love you all, and be sure to pass on my vindictive spite to those who deserve it. i suppose, as long as you're passing things along, you can pass the aforementioned love to those who deserve it, those who will be expecting it, or even those who you think i might enjoy the company of.
happy birthday, killer robot jesus. luke warm, the b-list porno star, see what your godson hath wrought.

good god it's cold. reminds me of christmases of yore, spent by someone else in a siberian prison camp. those were the days, eh? do you remember when you weren't in a siberian prison camp? then count your blessings. also, count them if you aren't living in the goddamned mid-west, where the wind from way over vladivostok comes to wait out the winter.

truly, my aspirations to power aren't that great. all i want is a quiet life, away from the hustle and the bustle, where i can kick back, relax, and occasionally perform all of the duties required by my newly appointed position, secretary of rum based cocktails. i'll even accept minister of rum based cocktails, since my patriotism might be made mutable by a beach and enough rum. and a hammock. the hammock is key.

gthedamned would like to offer congratulations to the chocolate goddess of love for her stunning performance on law and order: svu last eve. she made ice t look like a punk. (please, ice t, if you are a gthedamned reader, please don't come and kick my ass. i have nothing but respect for you ice t, but you've been famous for years, while my sister is just getting started in that department.)

we're proud of you, girl