the following is as direct a quote of my southern baptist grandmother as my drink and drug addled brain will allow. it was directed at my uncle, who is currently seperated from my aunt, his wife of the last twenty-five years.

"jxxxxx, you read these letters. then lxxx read them, then you read them together. we've got to get this thing worked out, buddy. you've got to poop or get off the pot. you two are making me nervous. you got my nerves all up.




i sold my big lawn mower."

that's my mamaw's idea of a transition. she would have made a great news anchor.