well, i don't know why my last post is not ere, but rest assured, you one or two people who still occasionally check the status of this lifelog, i did not go over a month without posting. my last entry concerned mainly the visit that my mother and grandmother made in honor of suzi's bridal shower. my little brother will be extraordinarily cute in a tux. he will officially be my little brother on the 27th of next month.

i have been staying off the grass lately, and i think it has helped my typing skills immensely (of course i just made two typos in that last sentence, well three now). my spelling, however, continues to deteriorate. i was proud in childhood of my spelling ability, which was then only furthered by being forced to take latin for two years in middle school, but has since gone downhill. since the advent of spellcheck, i no longer see the point. anything important enough to be spelled correctly should also be typed, as my handwriting, though legible and (i think) pretty cool, is not exactly going to win any penmanship awards, even if i tried to pass it off as the work of a second grader.

wedding preperations are in full swing. we ordered our rings yesterday and finalized what we are going to do for the ceremony. we have one hundred invitations completed but for the adressing, the guest list cut down as much as we could manage, and at least an idea for the menu, which i am going to be handling by my masochistic self. i have help, of course, but i am still going to have to work my ass off (a good thing, since i have been foolishly missing kitchen work).

danny is moving to chi-town. jordan might be too. skip is moving across town to chesterfield. in two months, i might have one friend that i'm not married to.

we may have killed the bastard today, but the war must go on. we haven't made election year yet. at this point, i'm starting to think that we should make that election season, as in three months, but perhaps tha would lead to big government.
goddamn, i can't type right now. my fingers are too cold, i suppose.

re: last damned: it turns out we did retreat some, but they couldn't tell us for fear that we would give away our position to the iraqis.

we changed positions in relation to bagdhad three times. perhaps i should say locations instead of positions. most of us have retained our positions since before there was a war. i personally still hate the idea, but i hate the reality even more. anyway, early this morning, we were fifty miles away from the capital of saddam's evil oily terrorist communist dictatorship. later in the day, we were as close as twenty to twenty-five miles from the epicenter of torture and baby-eating. around five thirty, central time (six thirty, god's time), we were thirty miles from the hellhole of misery and pain and freedom-hatred and violence and brutality that is Husseingrad in two places, and yet (and yet) there was no mention of any retreat on our part.

i'm not saing that this whole thing is a Wag the Dog, but think of this. it only takes one truth to hide ten lies. for every confirmed p.o.w. whose parents are trying to be brave for the cameras, how many untruths are perpetrated on the masses?

too damn political. i can't fucking help it. kingston and i threw a frisbee around in the warehouse today. the news was on, but i didn't care for the first time in weeks.

how can pbs piss me off?

by airing a two hour or more (i missed the beginning) documentary on the history of the iraqi conflict that could have been written by a republikkkan igno-mancer (let's translate that to spin doctor speech writer secretary of state), that's how (isn't my command of proper sentence structure staggering!?).

i really need to kick my news habit. i watch or listen to approximately five hours every day. most days i have a mild rage at the state of world affairs bubbling in my stomach. this is interspersed with periods of volcanic eructations of molten spleen at hearing the latest news about the war, or the president, or the economy, or john goddamned ashcroft. by that i mean i yell at the radio a lot. also the tv. and ... the laptop. i'm so ashamed.

i promised myself i wouldn't post my anti-government rants on the web anymore, so i'll stop now, but let me just add this...




THERE IS AN AGENDA BEING ENACTED UPON YOU AT ALL TIMES. BILL GATES IS IN ON IT. MICHAEL EISNER IS IN ON IT. MICK JAGGER IS IN ON IT. SO ARE RAY ROMANO, AUGUST A BUSCH III, JESSE VENTURA, AND THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR.
YOUR LIFE IS YOUR OWN, AND THE GOVERNMENT ONLY PROTECTS YOU FROM OTHER GOVERNMENTS.

MY throat is pretty sore now. can't believe this old soapbox held my weight.

i can't believe i got a mention on the new topography (see link to left... imbedding one takes time for a computer illiterate cro-magnon like myself).

i hope that the new topographer feels better soon. she's so hella hella cool, it's like icyhot.

i can't believe it's not butt. if there hasn't been a pornographic film with that title, i'll eat your hat. you'll need to mail it to me.

a new delivery driver has been hired. his name is andre. he seems pretty cool. i gave him an altoid tangerine sour and he looked at me as though i'd told him legos were candy corn.

i hope i'm not the only one who used to have candy corn fights the day after halloween. not fighting over, but with, for those who didn't.

surprise, surprise, sur-motherfucking-prise. i'm pretty sure i invented that. if anyone can prove otherwise, i'm expecting a call, or maybe just a bullet to the back of the head.

well, my pot-smoking friend (and technically, subordinate) got fired today. i really hate losing people that i like to work with, especially for stupid reasons like failing a drug screen.
rich people really creep me out. i had to deliver to the st. louis club today, and it was like a fucking high-rise crypt. i had to check in with security. i also had to find the fucking place, which occupies the top three floors of an office building across the street from where suzi, the new topographer, tigra, jordan, and i all used to work. to think, they were so close, but i never knew. that explains the frequent chills i got in the hot ass kitchen.
or maybe that was all the heroin.

the irregularity of my writings in this little open cranial window has become apalling. some thoughts on recent events.

my half birthday, february 14th, has come and gone again. no one got me anything, but suzi and lw both wished me a happy half birthday. i don't expect people to celebrate my half birthday with me unless it's in protest of the certain other over-commercialized greeting card manufactured chalk heart chomping candy and rose buying spending up all your money in one futile gesture of materialistic affection event that also takes place february 14th.

i am worried that the guy i work with, cliff, isn't taking his drug test seriously. he's given himself a week to clean up. even taking the detox stuff i gave him, i still have to wonder...

i hate being sick. yesterday i was at the grocery store to pick up some essentials. i was there for over an hour, and it would seem that i was named official crazy dude talkin to himself; i think i saw him looking for a bag of frozen breasts. to my credit,this store was all kinds of ass backwards. you walk in, then take a left? what kind of world are we living in? why is the bread nowhere to be found (atleast not near produce, where it should be), why does the meat keep going around a blind corner, and why in the name of god does a store with no more than ten linear feet of shelf space for crackers need a complete aisle, left and right of ICE CREAM!!!! it's not that i don't like ice cream, but seriously, people, aren't y'all fat enough? aren't I?

that'll do. dismissed.

i have realized that the last entry made a jump that many of my three readers could not understand. my friends do not labor for a living. i lift things and get paid for it. i also can't type that well, so this is the whole of this entry.

ladies and gentlemen, the test is over and the debauchery is just begun! after indulging all weekend in all of my remaining vices, i returned to work, somewhat dazed and with a belly-full of yogurt. anyone who knows me well knows that this is perhaps the fourth time in my life that i have eaten yogurt. the strawberry chips and nestle crunch beads helped it a great deal, but it still didn't serve as a satisfying breakfast. how is it that you, you, yogurt eaters out there do it? the stuff can be tasty, sure, but a breakfast? oh, right. everyone who reads this blog uses their gifted minds in ways best suited to their talents. i don't have any. that's right. i forgot.

so, apart from some respect i might have for his guitar playing, i have always thought of pete townshend as one of britain's most tourist attractive assholes. and now, perhaps, he is also a pedophile. i still have nothing against the who (except perhaps casting elton john in tommy), but i find the whole situation to be sickeningly amusing. talking about your generation, pete, sexual repression does have a tendency to break out in later life, you know. perhaps grown up porn is too costly, and child porn is the real bargain. it's a substitute for a normal sex life.
i hope that this whole thing is not true, but only because child pornography is disgusting. i hope that our boy pete goes to gaol just for being a dick.

i like my job. i like the people i work for and with. why, then, oh why, do i find it all so boring?

i should just be glad to have a job in this troubled economy. ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you that i have an entense hatred for all things govern-mental. republikans, being slightly worse than demokrats, have been my subject of ranting for these past two years. how is it that the poor are fooled by dictatorship wearing a common man disguise? since when did trickle down economics work? how can a tax cut help the american people or the government if the government is throwing money hand over fist into a possibility of war that no one will drastically benefit from?

enough of that. on the bright side, i get to take my drug test soon, so i will be able to return to my less than wholly law abiding ways relatively soon.

peace, love, and devil worship, y'all.

today, after my van was loaded up, i made my first solo trip into the wilds of west county. for that matter, it was my first solo delivery run for pinnacle, but that's neither here nor there. i got lost a total of four times on five stops. i made six phone calls from the company cellular phone (only one was to home; suzi isn't feeling well and had to call in to U City high today) and only one was while moving (an act which i condemn in others, so those of you with phone and cars, be warned). i unloaded forty-two cases of wine by myself for a st louis retailer, only to be informed that the asshole blocking my path to be closest to the door was the store's owner. i returned to the warehouse to have nothing to do, so i made space for things coming in on monday at a decidedly leisurely pace. my trip home took an hour and forty-five minutes because of traffic, having to stop at the store, and a delivery that i foolishly volunteered for.

the moral of the story is...........
Shut your damned mouth........ and never volunteer (appy-polly-logies to harry harrison)

i haven't been posting enough for a certain pixel11 author (or so i'm told), so here is a short post.

work is tiring. i like it well enough, but the days are long. as usual though, my work ethic will carry me through (reminder to those who knew me in school... this ethic only applies when i am being paid).

the drug test has been postponed until the end of the month. self denial while in tennessee, all for naught.

i have had two beers in the last four days, a new record since before i began drinking beer.

the bastards karamazov may produce a cd before they actually ever perform.

that is all for the moment...

well, damn. it seems that i have not posted in two weeks. how the time flies when one has gainful employment.

happy new year, to all. let's see, some late 2002 highlights...
-i did not pass my drug test. the boss called me into his office that fateful friday morn to show me the paper that had been faxed to him that morning. he told me that he was not bothered by my lack of passing, but that i would not be able to drive a van by myself until i passed one. this put a grin on my face the size of a canteloupe for the rest of the day. i get another chance, and for those who might care, i have not indulged since the night after i found this news out (a sort of last hurrah, if you will.)
-the guy that i was to replace in the new year quit before he could be fired. we don't know the full reasons why, but he did manage to take three hundred dollars worth of wine on his way out the door. it was a strange scenario, to say the least.
-the very next day, i got to put my immense forklift operating skills to good use. having trained to use a forklift (meaning joyride and try not to break anything with the forks) as a wee lad in my mother's produce market, they felt i was emminently qualified for the job. it was pretty fun, though still not as good as hotwiring a bobcat with a chainsaw tool with schaf and rutweasl.
-christmas at suzi's parents was fun. i drank for twelve hours straight, but never succeeded in actual drunkenness. funny how well my liver functions sometimes, but convenient the next day at work, i can tell you.
-haven has approximately ten teeth, which he grinds as though he is looking forward to dentures. he bites now, but not me. he is still cuter than he was before, a phenomenon i cannot yet understand.
-for christmas i received four fleece pullovers and the only sweater that i have ever really liked. also, a food processor, so we can take that off the wedding registry.
-my friends at home are well, or at least as well as can be expected. my best tennessee friend's mom gave me some xanax to get through my non-smoking spell. if only my mom did more drugs... (sigh)
-new years eve was a little anticlimactic, but perhaps all the better for it. i felt relatively good today, especially after sleeping until eleven.
-there is more ice falling from the sky, meaning i will have a lot of fun driving the twenty miles to work tomorrow. woo hoo.

tune in next time for the next exciting installment of... the life and times of a twenty four year old with more brains than sense!

drug test... complete (results tomorrow or monday)
first seven and a half hours of work... a little boring, but good
soreness today... not as bad as i might have expected
bosses... good, pretty good, and kingston
next four hours of work... hoping to take the soreness away.

hef gud daey, heckl.

CON
* i have to take a drug test tomorrow.

not that i'm a stoner anymore or anything, but i have been known to indulge in a bit of grass (perhaps i shouldn't tell the nation.... oh, wait, all five of my readers already know this) from time to time. i start part-time work tomorrow, and after i get my paperwork all filled out, i get to go donate some urine to the cause. i'm already planning a day of water flushing, but my body fat level has risen since the last time i had to take a drug test, meaning i now have a residual level, in all probability.

also, since i will start some new daily activities tomorrow, i don't know how often i'll be able to post in the near future. we'll just have to see. i think that you will all be fine without regular updates on my lilfe, but if not, i hope none of you feels the need to do anything drastic, like kill yourself, me, or the nearest republikkkan. scratch that last. go right ahead and do what thou wilt.

quick haven update... the trial was friday. it willbe at least early in the new year before anything is official, but at least my mom has custody now.

perhaps i'll tell tomorrow of my adventures in the warehouse world.

I got a job, i got a job, i got a motherfucking job!!! it doesn't start untol the first of the year, unless i'm lucky, but i got a goddamn job! and a better one than i had before, i might add. starting january 2nd, i will be working for a distribution company for better pay, better hours, a better benefits package, and no annoying customers! i don't want to give out too many details, just so as not to sour the deal, but it's for real. a good job, out of the restaurant biz. nine to five. and best of all, i won't even have to change my shaving schedule, as i will be mostly behind the scenes.
PROS
* Discounted alcohol
* Insurance
* more money
* i have a job
* blake still wishes i would come back to the chocolate bar

CONS
* a good deal of back work, which will hopefully get me back into shape.

sounds good to me.
i have a motherfucking job, ladies and gents. and the world is a better place.

i interviewed yesterday for a job with adecco temp services. i hate temp places, so i submitted my resume to work for enterprise rent-a-car today. through stltoday.com, i was notified that my profile fit a lot of jobs. once in a while, the internet does something good for me. imagine that!

i still need a job. i drove by a temp place this morning that offers same day pay. i should have known better, as this is a common ploy to pick up homeless employees who can be robbed blind by the company, but call me naive if you will. when i drove by, there was a fight going on outside. i decided that it wasn't the best of places for me to apply, primarily because i didn't think i could take the guy who seemed to be winning the fight. i don't know if that was the way it worked or not, but, as new guy on the totem pole and a skinny young looking white boy to boot, i didn't want to end the day with a black eye, a busted lip, and no job.

on a related note, i heard on npr that st louis has been rated the most dangerous city in america! take that detroit! we're number one! come on down to the middle of the country for an ass whoopin' you 'll tell your children about!

back to the job search....

my favorite part about my last post was the fact that it was almost entirely composed of a link to the new topography. i'm still learning how to do all this shit, so be patient. the fact that i got a link on there at all is pretty amazing to me.

i still need a job. my friend rich recomended me highly to the company he works for, but the position won't be open until the beginning of the year. i need a job right now, preferably one that will have me getting paid before christmas. it would be nice to buy things for my friends and family. it would also be nice to have a meal out once in a while.

this is about all i feel like writing today, because i need to go look for a job. fucking economy.