can we please have a real president again? how i long for even a non-idiot. these morons and monsters have got to go.

the ecosmashers that rule our country right now must be stopped, and i'm not even an environmentalist, really. however, i'm also not the type to shit in the water jug to save a few cents either.

the insidious bastards are learning.

dear god, it's almost election day. fuck bush's pals in a voting booth, america. they'd do you (if there was a profit to be had, anyway).

have you seen the ads on tv for "progress for america"? i haven't heard of a more bullshit name for a pac than this one. apparently, progress for america means going back to the days immediately after september 11th, 2001, and to start believing once again that the muslim world is full of murderous rage for all americans, that osama bin laden might have ties to iraq, and that americans should universally trust their president, who only has their best interests at heart. the commercial is such a bunch of jingoist garbage that says in so many words the same old lies, namely that democrats and muslims are the enemies of america (though they claim to not endorse a particular candidate etc.).

watch the bullshit if you haven't seen it already. progressives, we need some fresh ire for the election season.

siouxs! and i went for a run together last night for the first time in over a year. it was only about a mile, but it felt good. due to jack's probable dairy allergy, siouxs! had been unable to eat cheese and such while still breastfeeding the boy, so i've been cooking without dairy for a few weeks. i've been drinking less on the whole, not by design exactly, but i just have. i'm going to bed earlier on a regular basis than has been my custom in the past. i've lost fifteen pounds since he was born.

this upswing in healthy behavior is all pretty well attributable to jack. i want to be healthy enough to play with him. i want to be able to run around with him for hours, or walk around with him on my shoulders all over the zoo. he loves being outside, and i want it to stay that way. oh, i do love my video games, but i don't want jack to be a playstation zombie, so i rarely play anymore, if only not to set a bad example.

i do love that boy so. how is it that he makes me feel simultaneously old and young?

am i the only one who didn't really care who killed jonbenet ramsey the first go round? am i the only one who thinks that her "killer" is just some nut job that the republikkkans paid to take the fall, and therefore, some of the public attention away from, let's say, the war we're losing in iraq? ok, perhaps i am the only one. i am a bit of a conspiracy theorist, but still...

i also just found out this morning that pat buchanan is a special correspondant or something for the freaking today show. he seemed to be promoting his newest book, which is a primer on reasons we should fear all muslims. my feelings on the traditional media are so cynical these days that his appearance really doesn't surprise me that much. nonetheless, i had hoped that there was some backlash from the right leaning spin that was so powerful in the immediately post 9-11 landscape.

oh, right. today show:nbc = general electric. i guess they might have an interest in painting the war in a positive light.

no one, not even mrs buchanan, should have to see that man before 8 am, though.

yesterday on the radio, i heard a walgreens commercial. it's a paraphrase at best, but here's what i heard, more or less.

"understanding your pharmacist's advice isn't always easy, but if you don't speak english, it can be even harder. that's why at walgreens, we are capable of printing instructions sheets in fourteen languages. if the walgreens you're at doesn't have someone who speaks your language, they'll call a walgreens that does. that's our way of serving you better."

at no point did they stop speaking english, or even mention the name of another language that might clue non-english speakers in to what they were talking about. if you at least said "spanish," one might think that enough people would hear that and know to at least ask.

idiocy knows no bounds. donde esta la gente inteligente?

there's nothing i like better than a little poetic justice come to life. the delay ballot deal is priceless. they're just going to give up, and i guess find some other way to fight dirty. the attack ads should be funny, if ntohing else, because what alternative will they offer to the evil baby killing liberal who is the other name on the ballot? "paid for by the texas nick lampson is a jerk comittee"

so i went golfing for the third time in my life on sunday. in case you haven't been outside lately, most of the u.s. is going through a heat wave. st louis is no exception. it was 100 on sunday, and my fellow crooked-stick luggers and i probably sweated at least a half gallon each.

i've decided i enjoy playing golf, even though i am against it as a means to class distinction. i find sixty acre country clubs to be disgusting. i think people who want to live beside golf courses should have to build on the fairway and consider their swimming pools to be water hazards. i think that millions of illegal immigrants who work minimum wage (or less) jobs at country clubs should be allowed to run down elitist sons-of-bitches with high powered mowers. golf is fine, it's just the sense of entitlement that so often goes with it that makes me ill.

fortunately, dear readers, we went to tower tee par 3 course. this is the people's golf.

proof that repulikkkans only love their rich neighbors...

let me start by saying that we had it a lot better than most, as we had our power back up and running seven hours after it went off.

(wednesday) the storm itself was freaky. the (cliche) sky was green, and when i went on the porch, the wind changed directions 180 degrees four times in two minutes. the followup storm that was supposed to be thursday night didn't arrive until mid-day friday, and i was making deliveries in the worst part of it.

work was a joke. we had to scramble to rent a generator to keep our ac working and our wine uncooked. the generator we found was basically an old big rig engine without the extras like steering and brakes. i shouldn't complain, as it did the job, but i'm even more deaf that i was before i stood within a quarter mile of it. after that was done, we still made some deliveries, but mostly just sat around talking about what we should have for lunch.

(thursday) thoguh our power was on, a non-electric entertainment source is suggested. begin 1491 piece jigsaw puzzle of butterflies.

(thursday/friday) after trying to drive with traffic lights out all over town, i'm going to need an operation to remove the murder from my heart ( called a cydectomy).

(saturday) washington avenue music fest could have been better, but enough places had power to make it interesting for a few afternoon hours, and it was refreshingly nice out. skip and krowbar got a much improved temperature for the outing, as their power stayed off until yesterday.

also, really starting to hate those butterflies.

(sunday) fast eddies bon air. six beers, steak kabob, chicken wing kabob, pork kabob, french fries, and half a dozen boiled shrimp: $25. enough said.

peace is made with at least the purple butterfly.

all in all, quite an experience. i don't know if anyone died from the heat, but overall, not as awful as it might have been. a four/five day reminder of what life was like 100 years ago.

call me a conspiracy theorist if you want. i have been called far worse. here's my thoughts on the current stem cell argument.

virtually everything discussed in congress these days is some kind of distraction technique put up by the republikkkans to hide the fact that they're still stealing money from us hand over fist (never you mind the missing katrina relief funds, or the vast sweeping tax cuts for the wealthy republikkkan base, there's a bunch of mexicans threatening your fruit picking career! hurry, before they teach your children spanish, impregnate your daughters with non-lilly-white offspring, and make enchiladas our national dish!). the stem cell debate is more insidious than usual, though. this is the republikkkans best chance to distance themselves from dubya and darth cheney they're going to have. here's how it works.
1) make it appear that a few of those incumbents whose seats are up for grabs are in favor of actual scientific progress in opposition the phony religious proclamations of the moron in our highest office.
2) dubya threatens to use the veto for the first time.
3) fake bravado from the toadies like frist, claiming that we must broaden the scope of stem cell research (especially adult stem cells and cord blood stem cells, which have shown so much promise).
4) veto
5) "we'll keep pushing for this legislation in our next term if you give us another chance..."-type speech that fades out sometime mid-november
6) see religious wackjobs? no harm done, and now all of your moral protectors are still in office.

numerous media sources are predicting that the neo-con movement is on its way out, but in my opinion, even if we get rid of the worst of them, the damage has been done. the political realm been infected, and the religious right is resistant to the pennicillin of the separation of church and state.

the hardest part is that i'm related to most of them. my grandmother gets a christmas card from the white house every year.

fuck all of those bastards.

the federal minimum wage has been the same for the entirety of the time i've been out of high school. people working for minimum wage have been getting poorer and poorer for ten years, and the republikkkans are just now figuring out that there needs to be a change? the best part in my estimation is that they don't want to do anything, but the only way they feel they won't be raped by the demokkkrats politically is to go ahead and support an increase. this is just a way to nullify the bad juju that would come from not supporting the bill. i like it when the right-wingers are on the defensive for a change. now, if only enough people could stop shouting mindless pseudo-patriotic drivel long enough to listen to the rational folk out there, we might even get to point out a few of the other things the republikkkans need to be scared of in november. like corruption, anti-privacy legislation, the anti-progress mentality, and, oh yeah, the needless waste of a money-sinkhole that is iraq.

fuck bush.

if the best thing you could brag about was "things are slightly less bad than was initially predicted," would you be crowing about it? that's just what our brave leader is doing now. has he forgotten that we were in a time of surplus under his oft villified predecessor? we were actually on our way to paying the national debt, as opposed to adding to it at a record pace.

deficit spending doesn't work for households (just ask some of my cousins); why would it work for the whole country? true, it is possible to float briefly on a wave of credit and then surge forward to pay it off, but drowning is more likely than surfing.

i've posted two days in a row. that's the all-star break for you, i guess.

fuck bush

dear vast american middle (by this i mean those who cannot be defined easily by "liberal" or "conservative" labels, not our collective enormous midsection),

please remember for just a few more months how bad these sons of bitches really are. they are sending your children to war, at this point only to "honor the memories" of the ones who've already died in the same war (go die for those already dead... doesn't sound as noble then, does it?). they've lied to you at every opportunity, and unless you're making better than 300k, they don't even like you.

elections are too far away for the outrage to last, so consider this a public service reminder from gthedamned. stay mad. they're motherfuckers.

sincerely
gthedamned

ps fuck bush

today is mine and siouxs!'s three year anniversary. we have a beautiful baby boy, and we're pretty damned happy, if somewhat sleep deprived. happy anniversary, baby.

and just for the record, the three year anniversary is the leather anniversary, which is the funniest thing i've heard all day. i think next year is the official "nipple clamp anniversary."

the following is as direct a quote of my southern baptist grandmother as my drink and drug addled brain will allow. it was directed at my uncle, who is currently seperated from my aunt, his wife of the last twenty-five years.

"jxxxxx, you read these letters. then lxxx read them, then you read them together. we've got to get this thing worked out, buddy. you've got to poop or get off the pot. you two are making me nervous. you got my nerves all up.




i sold my big lawn mower."

that's my mamaw's idea of a transition. she would have made a great news anchor.

for a very predictable reason: outrage overload. i can't work up my mad anymore, as it's been overused since 2000. figure that this lapse is temporary... every time i think i'm all out of pissed off, the republikkkans go so far over the top that i start stockpiling bottles and kerosene again. also, when jack starts sleeping through the whole night, i might have a better chance of spewing some bile; anger is easier to back up when you're well rested.

we're taking a trip to knox vegas this coming weekend so jack can meet his hillfolk family. updates when we get back.

well, after an initial success, i'm now batting .333 with mcsweeney's. i have another piece submitted, so we'll see what happens.

karl rove not being prosecuted for treason that has his name written all over it? that smug bastard. i can't even fathom how many people in washington, reporters, prosecutors, etc. the bush administration must have by the short and curlies. can't anyone get to a position to take out these sons of bitches while simultaneously avoiding the tranny hookers? 60% disapproval rating, and we can't make anything stick to this scum? it's like playing pin the tail on the turd... you might hit the right spot, but as soon as you turn around, the damn thing has dropped off again.

stephen hawking, can i come too?

so this week i am running the show as best i can in the office, as both of my bosses are in south america for the week. i hope they have a good time there, because i have a feeling it's going to be murder here. i have covered the office for a few days before, and it's usually quiet, but there will likely be at least four times this week when i am so stressed out that i threaten sales reps on the phone and/or let the frustration in my voice leak out when i'm on the phone with a customer (work enough customer service and you can say just about anything with a smile, just letting the bile trickle out the back of your head). anyway, if the week warrants, there will be updates.

jack had a pretty good weekend. we barbecued a little saturday, but did next to nothing else all weekend long. this is a very good thing, as the next several weekends will contain a trip to tennessee and a lesbian wedding among other things. i think every weekend between now and july is spoken for somehow or another.

enough for now. more when something exciting happens.

fuck bush.

[tried unsuccessfully to post this yesterday afternoon... damn blogger]


this is absurd. yet another attempt to sway the easily distractable public towards the puritanical right.

sorry for the dearth of posts lately, but in all honesty, i haven't felt like it. the g.o.p. has been fucking things up so mightily that it seemed redundant to rant about the stuff. yeah, they're dragging the gay marriage thing out again, but this time, i don't think they'll be able to influence the casual homophobe as much (it's pretty hard to burn the same gays at the stake twice).

let's all just keep hoping for a conservative/neo-con rift. i feel one brewing these days.

just for old times sake, fuck bush

it seems that the good folks at the verichip company have got a great way to sell more verichips: implant them into immigrant guest workers. wow, have we really gotten to the point of chipping people like we do pets? has anyone told the fundamentalist christians about this? can you say mark of the beast, fundies (i know you can...)?