how can i resist the state of the union address from a lame duck president? well, since we don't have cable, it would have been fairly difficult to do without just turning off the tv, or turning to (god bless them for their mindless pap) the cw. however, we did watch the speech, and surprisingly never wanted to throw anything at the screen. in fact, this was the first state of the union that we have made it all the way through since the election was stolen in 2000. the reason we didn't get so mad was that he didn't really say anything. he made a lot of statements that anyone could agree with, but didn't tie them to the usual qualifiers that end up sounding like "and if you don't think we need to search for domestic oil inside the skulls of endangered species, then you're with the terrorists."

last night, bush sounded like what he is: a man with no real convictions other than self preservation. last night, it also seemed like the factiousness that has gripped the demokkkrats for years my be contaigious, as the republikkkans were hardly the unified front they have been for six years now.

jim webb. hell yeah. give him two senate terms, then run him for president. i'll campaign.

yet another reason to discount ethanol as a viable alternative to fossil fuels: tortilla price gouging. i listened to this story on npr this morning, and the worst part is that wal-mart, mexico's largest private employer, is using this crisis to drive smaller operations out of business by continuing to sell cheap tortillas.

i have decided to write a cookbook. any gthedamned readers who have eaten my cooking who would like to remind me of something i made at one point, please do so, via the comments section. this is going to be one good fucking cookbook. i'm also looking for a title, so suggestions are welcomed (siouxs! assures me that i shouldn't swear in the title, though in the book text is ok).

days like this are a brain killer. there's no one here but me and the warehouse manager, and nothing in particular to do. i have a few bits of busywork that might keep me interested for a few minutes, but i need to save those things for a time that isn't friday afternoon.

i suppose i could continue searching house listings in tn, but after a while, they all start to look the same.

if the boss were actually here, he might cut me loose early, but since he's out and about, that isn't likely.

it's times like this that made drugs a lot more appealing.

let me paint you a picture of what it's like to be a new parent on new year's eve.

i started drinking beer with dinner (coffee stout to go with coffee stout beef stew, which is absurdly good). we had friends over for dinner (howler monkey and whorcus) who left at seven or so. put baby to bed. continue beer drinking , though we switched to highlife for the sake of economy, and because it is the champagne of beers. roughly ten-thirty, siouxs! goes to bed. i tuck her in and stumble back downstairs to continue drinking and watching kung fu hustle. add several glasses of water to drinking queue. at eleven fifty-eight, i switched to network tv, but couldn't find any celebrity spokespeople, so went upstairs to give siouxs! a kiss for the new year. stumbled back downstairs, grabbed another beer and another water, stumble upstairs to read in bed.

happy new year, everyone, and by everyone, i mean both of you.

i haven't had a hit on either blog in three days, so there's little point in posting, but here goes.

gerald ford died of grief for james brown. since these things always happen in threes, tomorrow, someone nationally recognizable has to die. it wil also be someone with a very basic word for a last name. tomorrow, anne rice dies choking on a velvet ruffle.

it is wonderful to me that james brown's death is garnering as much attention as ford's. i mean, it should. ford wasn't president for even a full term, while james brown has been the godfather of soul for forty years. there are no term limits for that position; it is a lifetime appointment.

listen to some bootsy collins today. he was, ironically enough, bass player for both james brown and gerald ford.

it's going to be ok, tomi rae. don't let them vultures fight you off. you were the one sleeping with a 70 plus year old dude and occasionally getting the shit slapped out of you. you go get what you're due. you're tomi rae brown, whatever the lawyers say.

i watched the gameshow identity last night (with heroes over until next year, and the fact that i need to buy some new books, or at least go to the library, i'm watching more tv than i'd like. i still probably watch less than the average american. maybe 50% less.). penn jilette is a whore (not because of this show, he just is).

while watching, siouxs! made an interesting observation. all of the primetime gameshows these days are going vertical with their displays of people. deal or no deal (the non-game gameshow), 1 vs 100, and now, identity all feature a stack of humanity. i can only imagine that our corporate overlords (specifically the ones at general electric) are using their squawking peacock to further devalue the (non-wealthy and caucasion) individual. true, there are individual contestants, but they seem like caricatures that could be easily invented by our collective prejudices, and therefore serve as symbols of our unconscious rather than real people.

ok, that's quite a rant. i'd better take my meds.

i'd like to point out that my baseball blog is now far surpassing this one in terms of hits this month. siouxs! also had a good observation about this.

"more people care about baseball than [care about] what you think."

how true. even i care more about baseball than i care about what i think.

according to statcounter, my two blogs are in a dead heat for visitors in december. until today, i have posted on neither in december. i haven't been posting as regularly as i might otherwise due to the busy season at work and the fact that our computer at home is in jack's room, so no computer use after seven or so. note to self: when we move, the computer gets its own room.

i'm getting pretty excited about moving. i don't know how long we'll be able to stay in tennessee, but i need to have a change of scenery. st louis has been a good second home, and will always be familiar, but i miss home home. i want to reconnect with my family and some friends. i know things will be different than they are when we visit, but i long for the hills on the horizon. i can't wait to be able to go to the mountains when i want to again. i want to see jack's face when he sees a herd of whitetail in cades cove.

i'm scared to leave st louis, but i can't stay here forever. this will be a good change (seven-plus months and counting).

thank you, oh wise and fearless leader, for showing us the light. all of the violence in iraq is someone else's fault. thanks be to our almighty christian god that it isn't our fault, even though we did force iraq into a state of anarchy and chaos that would make any society come apart.

someone else's fault. the most beautiful three words in the world to a politician. someone else's fault means a chance at (re)election. and the best part is that it's bipartisan! double points if the people you're pinning the blame on are brown.

the economy, that's someone else's fault too, right? they say it usually takes a few years for changes in economic policy to make a significant change in the economy itself, so the current problems are the fault of those jokers from last term. you remember those guys, they're the ones who tied up hundreds of billions of dollars in a war based on false pretenses, and then funded it by cutting the taxes of the wealthy at a much higher rate than the middle class so that the poor and middle class could keep sending their sons and daughters to die needlessly and expensively.

fuck bush, just for old times sake.

one thing of interest: on the way out of knox vegas this past weekend, i saw a billboard for a place called the pleasure palace or somesuch nonsense with pleasure in there. at the bottom they listed attractions

toys * lingerie * adult novelties * fireworks

it says something about a region's culture when the smell of gunpowder can be a turn-on.

more updates as soon as i feel like it.

tomorrow is my favorite holliday behind halloween, so i thought i would mention a few things worth being thankful for (though to whom, i don't know, as i'm at best an agnostic, but whatever)

jack and siouxs! make my every day better. no matter how bad a day at work is, i get to come home and be happy right away when i see those two smiling at me, and every morning, i get to see them first so my day can start right.

the rest of my family, of course, who love us enough to be thrilled that we're coming home for thanksgiving.

i still have a few really good friends who i can always count on (and you know who you are)

despite the tightened belts that go along with siouxs! going to part time and the extra expense of a baby, we're still doing better than back when we first got together.

both cars are running well (knock on wood)

the republikkkans lost a lot of ground

the cardinals won a world series

i've been published twice in the last year

no one close to me has died this year

there's lots more than that, but that'll do for now. we're driving overnight in an effort to keep jack asleep for the trip, as he still isn't too fond of long car trips. here's hoping for an uneventful drive and a good morning once we get there and try to grab a few hours sleep before what will undoubtably be a thanksgiving feast (my grandmother is still cooking for people who won't be there for one reason or another, and even when there were a lot more of us, there were always piles of leftovers).

enjoy your holiday, and be thankful for what you otherwise take for granted.

oh yeah, and friday is buy nothing day. please celebrate and remind the corporations that we are people, not consumers

despite what might be the obvious conclusion based on this picture, i promise that we have never given this child alcohol or drugs. all i can say is that it runs in the family. my mother seems to have an uncanny ability to appear inebriated in pictures where she is no such thing (not that she doesn't drink, but i can count on my fingers the number of times i've seen her drunk, and as far as you know, i only have two fingers). i suppose there is the possibility that she's just a remarkably good drunk who indulges a lot more than it would otherwise seem, but since the same trait has appeared in her grandson, i'm guessing it's just genetic dumb luck. in jack's case, i know for a fact that he can't reach the liquor, and i wouldn't give him any for fear that he is blessed/cursed with my high tolerance, and he'd drink me out of house and home once he acquired a taste for the stuff. again, if such things are genetic, i don't think it will take too long after the first exposure.

...you succeed, but then in all subsequent attempts, fail, try another outlet.

after my first mcsweeney's submission, i have gone something like 0-for-20. however, i was asked for submissions to another site, feathertale, on the strength of my mcsweeney's piece. again, they took the first thing i offered, so i of course expect to never get anything on the site again.

so that you, my gthedamned readers can feel special, a little inside info. the piece was inspired by the question "do you have your baby gate bought?" which i then went riffing away on.

publish or perish (or continue to languish on in obscurity).

tell me i'm celebrating too early if you must, but oh hellmotherfuckinyeah! the hole they dug was too deep to climb out of with political trickery, and when you have no moral ground to stand on, it's pretty hard to effectivley attack your opponent's "values."

here in the mighty mo, claire mccaskill won our senate seat (now's the time to start working against kit bond), the minimum wage was increased, and the jury is still out on the stem cell initiative. i'm obviously hoping that one passes too, but i am pretty thrilled at the gains already determined.

this is a start.

i had a thought last night. the struggle between liberalism and conservativism ought to be a matter of idealism versus wisdom. if that were true, then the middle ground would be the correct path nearly every time. as it is, both "sides" are led by people who care more for getting and maintaining power than ruling effectively. i suppose in a way this is one of the basic flaws with democracy, but such is life. now is not the time to worry too much about democracy's flaws. today is a day of celebration, for tomorrow we get to work.

for the record, i am not a democrat (or demokkkrat, since they're only marginally better than republikkkans in many respects). i am a left leaning independent however, today, i cast an all democrat ballot (except for judges, who have no party affiliation listing, because obviously, they're non partisan, right?).

take the fuckers out. enough republikkkan befouling has gone down in the last few weeks to make me think the democrats have finally learned to play politics too. good. it's about time someone beat those sons of bitches at their own game.

if you haven't voted yet, go vote. the touchscreens are a little unnerving, but i saw the paper back up.

vote. i'll be disappointed if anyone reading this blog doesn't. i'll also be surprised if i get even one more hit today (thanks, statcounter, for pointing out that i'm just another angry blogger with a readership marginally above zero).

vote.

VOTE DRUNK
VOTE OFTEN
VOTE DRUNK OFTEN

i defy the blogosphere to produce a cuter child.

i go home to this smiling face every day. jealous?

insurance hassle: jack has to go in for surgery next week, and thanks to the barely navigable fine print of my "explanation of benefits" with our new (and not as comprehensive, thanks) insurance, i'm not sure if he's fully covered for the procedure. it may be classified as an elective procedure, so it gets fuzzier already there. the best i can tell, it should be covered, but even if it is, i don't know if i'm on the hook for my deductible, his, or both. i'm already behind paying the hospital for souixs!'s stay when he was born. deductibles are a bunch of shit. insurance in this country is the biggest racket that exists.

the amazing thing to me is how much the baptists who raise me rail against gambling, but nearly every one of them is insured. insurance is just like casino gambling: no one would be in that business if they weren't assured to come out on top. the difference between health insurance and gambling is that if you're taking a lot of money from a casino, they buy you breakfast. if you're taking a lot of money from the insurance company, they might cancel your policy.

vote democrat. they're in quite a few pockets too, but at least it's a step in the right (left) direction.

condi claims "i never got the memo" despite the fact that we've been hearing about this one for literally years now. i even remember that it was headed "bin laden determined to attack inside u.s." or something very similar, and i wasn't at that cabinet meeting. will the blatant lies never end? do the republikkkans think so little of the american people? apparently so.

the g.o.p. has a lot in common with the catholic church; they're both fantastically wealthy, they both mask backwards thinking as conservatism and/or morality, and they both harbor pedophiles and protect them from harm. part of me revels in sadistic glee that this has happened so close to the midterm elections, but then part of me feels guilty for being glad that a pedophile was making sexual advances at a child. at least monica lewinski was of age. i wonder how the anti gay lobby is going to handle this...

the genocide in sudan is now a few years old, and yet dubya says the u.n. shouldn't hesitate to act. i guess we won't be contributing many troops to this one, as the people we would be helping are black (and not wealthy).

fucked up world we live in, folks.

fuck bush.

can we please have a real president again? how i long for even a non-idiot. these morons and monsters have got to go.

the ecosmashers that rule our country right now must be stopped, and i'm not even an environmentalist, really. however, i'm also not the type to shit in the water jug to save a few cents either.

the insidious bastards are learning.

dear god, it's almost election day. fuck bush's pals in a voting booth, america. they'd do you (if there was a profit to be had, anyway).

have you seen the ads on tv for "progress for america"? i haven't heard of a more bullshit name for a pac than this one. apparently, progress for america means going back to the days immediately after september 11th, 2001, and to start believing once again that the muslim world is full of murderous rage for all americans, that osama bin laden might have ties to iraq, and that americans should universally trust their president, who only has their best interests at heart. the commercial is such a bunch of jingoist garbage that says in so many words the same old lies, namely that democrats and muslims are the enemies of america (though they claim to not endorse a particular candidate etc.).

watch the bullshit if you haven't seen it already. progressives, we need some fresh ire for the election season.