i was thinking about the snoopy sno-cone machine this morning. i loved my snoopy sno-cone machine, but i have been thinking all day about it's many shortcomings.
"you put an ice cube in, and get a sno-cone out" which i remember distinctly from the jingle is nothing if not an oversimplification. "you put an ice cube in, you put all of your seven-year-old weight into pushing down on the snoopy shaped plunger (but not the little rubber nipple like hat) while trying to simultaneously turn the impossibly flimsy crank which won''t move as long as you're putting all of your seven-year-old weight into the plunger, you eventually get a little shaved ice floating in the meltwater from your efforts of the first five minutes that in no way resembles a sno-cone" would have required a different jingle, i guess.
what was up with that little rubber nipple hat? have you ever seen snoopy wear a hat in any other situation? an aviator helmet, sure, but never a hat. when it's cold, he always had a scarf, but no hat. secondly, what was the big idea putting it right on top of the plunger? how could you not squirt out your sno-cone flavoring all over the place? with all of your seven-year-old weight going into the plunger? the thing only held two teaspoons or so of liquid anyway, which has never in my life been enough for even one sno-cone.
lastly, would it have killed them to put some kind of sturdier base on the things? the whole rig was only about two inches deep, which falls over mighty easily when a fair amount of pressure is applied (as it would be to the plunger when all of your seven-year-old etc etc). i remember conking my head on the counter on several occasions because the sno-cone machine collapsed under me.
it's rants like this that are the reason i'll never really amount to anything "important"
fuck bush
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