friday morning nerves

for any number of reasons, i'm a little nervy today.  i'm at a sticking point at work, so there's not much i can do without getting into a huge project i won't have time to finish today.  they've been talking about hiring someone at work via an internet wine jobs posting, but haven't talked too much to me about it, which makes me wary of my own status.  third, and most nervewracking, today siouxs! has an ultrasound, so we can see that the baby is progressing nicely.  i have missed the first two this go round.  the last ultrasound i was present for (last year), we basically found out that we'd lost the baby, though it took a few more days for it all to seem final.  i know that there's no connection between the two, but there's also the fact that today is one year from the date last year when it was certain.  circumstances are wildly different this time, but i'm scared still.  i have to be the strong one for siouxs!, but times like this, it's pretty fucking hard to do.

pray (if you do that) or think about us.  it will be greatly appreciated.